Basic Life

Friendly Fire

Last evening while I was waiting in line at a supermarket counter when I realized the person right in front of me was my cousin from my mother side.

”Cousin? How nice to see you! Why didn’t you say something? I almost didn’t recognize you. How are you? I heard you just had a baby girl!”

*what am I suppose to say again? Oh yeah congratulations, say it, say it.*

“Ah cousin Knife, sorry there, I also didn’t recognize you. I kept wondering if you are cousin Knife or not. Just haven’t seen you for so long. How are you? Is your mom well?”

*what you mean you didn’t recognize me? I saw you looking at me. If I didn’t take the initiative to say hello, we would be absolute strangers!*

“Yes, she’s just fine. You know hashing and stuff. Haha. Is that your son? What a handsome little man he is.”

*He is adorable. I wish I can go over and coo over him. Hi little darling, I’m your auntie Knife.*

“Yes that’s my son, he’s 1yr old already and that’s my husband there, I would introduce you to him but my in laws are waiting for us in the car, so we’re kinda rushing here. Haha…”

*Woah, that’s her husband? Hold the phone! That is one delicious looking muffin! *

“Oh, er, that’s alright, you go on now, better not keep them waiting but promise you’d drop by the shop for a chat sometime, ok?”

”Sure I will. Bye cousin.”

”Bye.”

Now this got me thinking and I confessed a little worried. This cousin of mine is only older than me by 2 years. Now she’s with two kids and a husband. My mom told me that her hospital room (when she gave birth) was like a florist shop. Flowers everywhere.

What I’m seriously worried about is not about my single status but that of my gossipy aunts. They will probably start asking my mom when her eldest daughter is gonna get hitched? After all she’s 26, er, 25 already and tick tock tick tock dear.

I bet many people hear this all the time. Not only are there sibling rivalry but here we have to deal with cousin competitions as well. Instead of the “My daddy can whoop your daddy’s ass” kind of comparisons, this is “My daughter can out marry your daughter.” Or “My son can land a better job than your son.”

Of course, being adults this is never said in one’s face. It’s done with tact and finesse befitting the best strategists.

Senario Example:

“Mrs X long time no see! How’s your family doing? How’s your daughter? I heard she works for this-this company.”

“Yes Mrs Y, she just got the job last week and she did mention some stress but I’m sure youngsters these days have it easier than we do. She’s already planning a trip to Korea (jealousy arrows FIRE!) this august to ‘reward herself’, well, as long as she pays the bills, I’m not complaining. I’m sure your son experience the same stress in his job with that-that company.”

“Oh yes, youngster these days have no backbone, I’m sure, but it’s all about the money. It’s enough to keep the family together and put food on the table I suppose. I mean I don’t know what his boss would do without him really, keep sending him overseas to china, korea, japan, (warning! Warning! Arrows deflected, launched heat seeking Envy Missiles!) you just can’t imagine the stress he’s on. He even doesn’t have the time to see his fiancée sometimes (Lock target! Aim! Fire!), poor girl.”

“Hmm yes, poor girl… ( Target hit! Damage control!) oh well, Mrs Y, I would love to chat all day but I’m late for a church meeting already.”

“Oh yes, yes, I’ll talk to you next time. I have to get home as well, have to cook dinner soon. See ya!”

“See ya!”

This is a typical scenario where Mrs X would go home and start nagging her daughter. *sigh* Yes I know it very well. My mom has 8 siblings and all together I have 20 cousins although my mom compares me with only 10 of them cuz they are around my age. This bugs me immensely because I for one like my cousins a lot and am particularly close to a few. That is why when my own mother nags me about this cousin’s job or that cousin’s marriage, I keep quiet.

I admit I have a little green eyed monster in me but it’s not a big one. Still, it’s annoying. There was a time when she nags I would fret about it but now, not really. It’s because I realized it’s not fair to keep comparing myself with others, especially those who are related to me or even more important, who I respect.

In a sense I can understand my mother only wanted me to improve my own life. Any mother would only want what’s best for her own children, right?