There's a Calm Before a Storm

Last night I was chatting with someone whose opinion I respect. He has a blunt frankness about him which is refreshing, and it is thanks to his awakening insight that has made me come to realization with myself at some level.

I shall not divulge in specifics as it was at the time 2.30 in the morning and I must admit details are a little fuzzy right now. When I woke at the sound of rain beating against my roof and window, I find the interesting coincidence I am in as I’ve always been partial to rainy weather. Its like nature’s way to wash the grit and grime of yesterday. It possesses the astonishing ability to refresh the living. Introducing new sounds and smells around me. The chill, the coziness it brings, enhances the warmth and protection I feel within my home.

It was with such awareness that has taken root deep in my mind and began to grow, even though it is a barren wasteland, perhaps from years of neglect and abuse of my part. So many things I could enrich myself with and yet haven’t done so. I haven’t studied as I want to study. I mean to begin afresh. Like rain, my friend’s curt and perhaps bruising honesty washed the dust and watered the ground.

We have discussed at length the differences between belief and faith. What romanticisms we have in life, general or otherwise. Along those lines came the discussion of trust. A moral value I’ve long lost in the opposite sex. It is with my negativity and distrust that has caused me to lose something precious to me before. Although I hope it is not forever lost but I have monsters of my own to tame before I can re-establish anything.

First thing first is to have faith and belief in myself before anything else. More or not, I would like to have faith in myself again as belief can be fleeting whereas faith is lasting. Perhaps with belief and faith in myself again, I can come to love myself. For how can a person give love and deserve love in return if she doesn’t love herself in the first place?

Bread - It Sticks (Part 1)

For the past two weeks I’ve been diligently applying myself in the study of the art of bread making. I mean, how hard can it be? Flour, yeast, salt and water, mix mix mix, leave it to ‘grow’ then bake. Right?

At least that’s what I thought before I found out I don’t even have the right type of flour in the house. Not to mention the yeast is at least 3 yrs old and probably all the little buggers have retired and died.

Never mind, just means a quick stop at supa save. Lets see, bread flour. I must get good bread flour high in protein so the little critters in the yeast would have plenty to eat and burp carbon dioxide to form the little pockets that makes the bread light, big and poofy. High protein also meant it’s easier for gluten to form during the kneading process.

I never kneaded anything in my life before. Can’t be all that bad.

Turns out there’s more to do before I can actually make the bread. See, there’s this stage where you make the ‘sponge’ or ‘spool’ or is it ‘spooge’? Whatever, it’s a pre mix of yeast, flour and water you mix, knead and let it rise in the fridge (yes fridge) over night. This helps make a better bread because the more you let a dough sit, the better the flavour. However can’t let the bread sit for too long or else it would have a beer like kind of taste. Therefore a ‘sponge’ is recommended.

Now for the actual bread making. Flour, water, yeast, salt, ‘spooge’ (or is it ‘sponge’?) = one yucky goopey mess. I don’t know what I did wrong but should it be that sticky and goop like? I thought I was making bread, not Slimer. Maybe the gluten hasn’t formed enough, I kept kneading but the dough refused to cooperate. 20 mins later my arms ached, my table was covered in flour and the dough which I have fondly named ‘damn blob’ sat there like a smug overstuffed fat kid on Halloween.

Flour, yes, perhaps it needs more flour. So I kept adding, until it started looking like a more manageable dough. Cut it into 3 parts, and put them into the pan for one final rise before popping into the oven.

One hour and a half later, the lovely smell of baked bread wafted through my mother’s kitchen. It had this wholesome bread smell, like toast, only better.

I took it out and poked it. Actually, poking is an understatement, the crust was so hard, when I wanted to let it cool on the side, it actually fell out of the pan and went ‘KLUNK!’ on the table.

The crust was [this-thick] and slicing it was like sawing a log. Inside was brown and spongy and a little undercooked. Well, so much for ‘mastering the art of baking’ and dreams of making little mouth watering buns.

The final blow was from my own mother. “Smells nice, doesn’t taste so great though. I make better bread than this.”

Okay, I admit, my first loaf of bread isn’t that impressive but still, ouch!

So I swore to keep on trying until my mother admits that I too can make good bread, or at least in par with hers.

- To be continued -

Travelling The Emerald Green Road

Honestly speaking ... there's not much to do around in the old Belait town. Okay, well there probably is but nothing that sparks my interests much.

However, I was keen on getting reaquainted with the abundant nature that is dominantly the most available form of distraction the district has to offer. (Despite the fact I haven't stepped on a hiking trail since my mom dragged my sorry arse through hill and hell at Shah Bandar.)

I went to Sungai Liang with my family for my dad's 60th brithday.

It was a picnic celebration and I know my dad hasn't done much hiking eventhough he loves nature. I think it's because he rather have some company while he hikes. I remember well enough he use to bring me to the Sungai Liang forest reserve all the thime when I was kid. My brother as well but I don't know if he still remembers though. After every hike, my father would end the trip with a break at a kopi shop where he, my brother and I would always order roti.

I remember often enough there were often birds singing to one another in the forests. I once brought out my recorder just for kicks to see if I can get any reaction and I DID get one! It was amazing for me, a 15yr old, to be playing a recorder in the middle of the rainforest and have a bird replying back! Dad was impressed which was saying something cuz he can also make birds reply by picking up a leaf and making all sorts of whistles out of it.

Last trip we went, he picked up a different kind of leaf and make monkey shrieks. I tot it was for real! Cuz dad was ahead of us and I didn't see what he was doing. I tot there were real monkeys ahead! Dad thought it was a real hoot and continued making the noise all the way until we saw a real monkey, sitting on top of a rotting trunk some 10 meters away from us. I was scared it would try to attack us for food.

Some tourists and hikers leave food for the monkeys and think its' a real hoot but I consider this as a bad habit cuz then wild monkeys would associate humans with food and one day might become more aggrassive in search of it. Once at shah bandar I saw this 5 yr old tossing bits of food at the monkeys and having fun until one of the bigger monkeys dashed up to her and snatched the whole bag out of her hands. Totally shocked her. I just thank God the others didn't follow suit and search the kid for more food. So, remember, don't feed any wild animals.

Moving on...

I forgot how beautiful our rainforests are. It's like being in an entirely different world. Granted the Sungai Liang forest reserve is pretty tame compared to some of the bigger forests reserves in Labi and Temburong but at least they leave most of the wild alone.

Tall majestic trees surrounds the path which is concrete but because it's ben there so long, it's turned into a pretty emerald colour which suits the surrounds (however kind of dangerous if wet). The canopy overhead gave us a pretty good shelter from the fierce sun and felt like we were travelling through a kingdom of unfathomable complexity because there is something of interest in almost every 5 meters or so.

I dunno why but I was delighted to find the many wild fruits growing there such as durian, rambutan, jackfruit and bread fruit.

Hiking there is relatively easy, so easy that even I can go for one round and still be able to enjoy my surroundings without suffering too much. Haha. I managed to take some pretty nice pics too. Was so glad I decided to take my Lumix with me.

There were a lot of people there as well, some swimming (yuck!) in the pool filled with the natural water, bbq-ing on the side and hiking about. I didn't realise there would be so many people into the park these days. I guess it's because Bruneians are becoming more health conscious now and are taking full advantage of their natural surroundings.

Still, I rather enjoy a slow pace and lovely scenery than trying to work my butt off climbing a steep thing only to be passed by an ah pek hiking up the trail like some shirvelled up mountain goat on speed. Jialat.

Anyhoo...I've really enjoyed taking pictures while hiking and got some really nice pics! Hope you like them as much I do. ^_^ I think some are just fantastic!

Selamat Hari Raya!

Dunno why I like joining in their festivities so much. I guess it’s because somehow it reminded me of my childhood years. You see, during the Chinese New Year, it would always be a big fuss. My aunts would make cakes and biscuits with my grandmother (Father’s side).

There would be endless shopping for decorations, new clothes and foods. Eveythough everybody was busy to the max but everyone enjoyed them. Then on the first day of Chinese New Year, all the relatives could come to my grandmother’s house and we would hang out there the whole day and play fire crackers at night.

That’s what I miss the most.

Ever since my grandmother died, relatives have less and less reason to drop by the house to say hello. Who could blame them? Especially when my dad disappears to go fishing and mom goes off to Merudi for the first few days of CNY. Which is why last year I went to Miri with my mom, it’s more festive there but I still miss visiting all my cousins.

I promised my other grandmother (Mother’s side) that I would be in Merudi for the next coming CNY. That is, if my mother and siblings are going too, she can’t expect me to go alone, does she? The boat ride alone from Miri to Merudi is tiring as it is and noisy as hell too.

I didn’t realise I would be so occupied during the Raya season this year. I was confident that I would only be visiting Shikin’s house on the first day of raya and that’s it. Cuz my work place only close for the first day of Raya. I wasn’t planning on doing anymore than that.

Since Effy came back from KL I thought I would just drop by sometime and chit chat, spend time with Shikin also, since darling Danish keeps her house bound 24/7. And it was fun hanging out at their house helping out whatever.

Haha, instead of a normal chit chat, we surfed, traded guitar lessons, put up the new curtains, arranged the furniture. Macam macam ada.

The next day I visited, they were so busy that I ended up cutting cake and putting them in trays. Effy was also tired out, until she lost her temper on a modern broom. Haha! Poor girl was so tired (she only slept at 4am in the living room the previous night.) out that she threw the broom in frustration. Lol! First time I see someone frustrated over a broom. If can, I’ll buy for her a Harry Potter broom stick instead. But remember Effy, Sean Biggerstaff is mine. He’s Andrew’s father you know.

But it was all fun throughout the Raya week. Until mom asked where I’ve been cuz she hardly sees me at home. Haha, even Shikin’s dad joked to his relatives, “There’s the chinese daugther I adopted.” Ai, uncle, from where did you pick me up then? Aku ni dari sampah mana kan? (omg, come to think of it, there’s a huge dumpster around that area too!)

At least uncle’s joke is better than his own daughter. Shikin lagi tah, called me “Amah Shanghai.” Boleh. At first she called me ‘Amah Guang Zao’.
Then I dunno why I replied, “Eh, my ancestors not from Guang Zao ah, they are from Shanghai le.”
Ok, why not? She immediately changed my title to ‘Amah Shanghai’. Not much improvement there. *sigh*

Dammit, for all this I go through, she better freaking give a generous, big fat green packet of ‘duit raya’ to Andrew.

I think it was also partly because Shikin’s grandmother was telling me a little about the past. That back in Shell’s glory days, all the ang moh employees had shiny cars, lived in the bungalows or the Canadian houses and all of them had employed Cantonese maids in white uniforms and long braids. Dun play play, these Cantonese maids could speak good enligsh yo. Haha.

Man, I love talking to old people.They have such interesting stories to tell.

Second Home

After 7 days from the sanding, there’s one last ceremony left. I dun remember what it’s called but I’m guessing something like ‘Returning Home’. This is when Wandi will bring his lovely bride, Shikin, back to his house.

I’ve been to Wandi’s house several times but only entered once. Funny how all these years I’ve lived so close to Shikin, Effy and pat but never knew that much about them until our hostel days together. I knew Patricia from school but she wasn’t that long in SJS and I only remember her as this funny girl who pops up once in a while.

Anyway I’m digress, so, first I went to Shikin’s house and I helped her put on her make up cuz the make up artist wouldn’t be coming for that occasion. I guess I did alright, nothing really compared to what the make up artist did but good enough. Haha. It’s fun applying make up on my friends. Effy too, I love to make her girly. Haha, I guess it’s because I can still remember her during the time when I first met her. She was a very serious looking girl. Many people wrongly assume that Effy’s the elder sister and Shikin the younger.





** Haha, jagan marah Effy, mua mu serious masa tu what, kau lagi tinggi daripada Shikin. Takut ku liat mua mu dulu, macam kan makan orang, masa ni, makan orang pulang tapi species jenis laki, dalam dark corners lagi tu. Hahahaha. **

So once the couple was ready, we all set off, convoy to Wandi’s house where then tents are still there, and all the makanan was prepared. The couple was seated in the pelamin of the groom’s side and pictures were taken. There was some traditional gifts set in front of the pelamin too, sacks of rice, oil, kitchen utensils…wifey stuff. Then the couple greeted or salam all the elders and guests. After a quick prayer it was time to dig in.



Wah, I still remember the food from that day, seriously, the sambal got real kick le. I still like Shikin & Effy’s mom’s sambal and chenchalu, but the food that nite was not bad also. Then there’s Aiman…who I seriously think is in love with Effy la. It seems like she’s the only one who can understand him and he keeps dragging her here and there and showing her stuff. Maybe it was puppy love at first sight. Maybe he’s already planning Effy’s pelamin. Whahahahaha.

After most of the guests have eaten and went home, some stayed back and started to kareoke. Okay, this is something I always wondered, if it’s not the song ‘Isabella’ it’s always this dangdut song starting with the lyrics, “Jatuh bagun ~” I dun know what the song is called but I swear, every malay wedding I’ve been to or can hear (especially when they are my neighbours) sure will have either one or both songs. Must be real popular wedding songs.

Tired but happy, everyone of us went to our respective homes. (Except Shikin of course, being the bride, she has to spend the night at Wandi’s house.) Hmm, I dunno what more I can wish Wandi & Shikin, except that may your cup always be full and your plate never empty and that your years together will grow richer than the year before. *kampai!* XD



Also, in happy days, in sad days, in good days and in bad days, remember whatever day it is, your friends and family are always near by. ^_^ Congrats chabo!

The Sanding

Got up quiet early this time because it’s an important day where the most guests would attend. This day is the ‘sanding’ where Wandi and Shikin is ‘Raja and Raja Isteri’ (King & Queen) for a day.

Effy and I head off to Helen’s to get our hair set for the day. We were bridesmaids mah, must make up pretty pretty also le. Hahaha. But they say 3 times a bridesmaid, never a bride. >_<

Then the groom, Wandi, arrived also dressed in blue. His car was escorted by an entourage of bikers. Before entering the house he made the customary ‘3 rounds’.

Inside seated beside Shikin on the pelamin, *sigh* it finally hit me that they are husband and wife liao.

When everyone has eaten liao they all gathered to cheer on the newly weds who stood at the balcony at front of their house. After the noise, the crowd, the food, all gone, then finally everyone took a well earned rest. We viewed what Effy took on her camcorder. It was fun. I was just damn tired, dunno from what also, all I remember is a lot of walking around, taking pics, talking to people, carrying food…all that.

At night there’s left a trickle of guests left but the band was still there playing. Pat and I hung around cuz we wanted to see what wedding presents Shikin and Wandi got. One by one they peeled off the present paper and opened each box. Of course, she opened the nice necklace Pat and I got for her. ^_^

Then in the middle of it all, suddenly everyone rushed to the window to look outside. I wondered what was going on until I saw Shikin’s grandfather was dancing outside along with the band music! Wahlau le! Steady la their grandfather. Then the grandchildren (Shikin, Effy and their siblings) made a beeline through the guests and chairs.

Next thing I know, one was pouring water into a cup, the other patting his back, the other two sitting there looking concerned and asking what in the world was he doing. His answer was that all the people are not celebrating and dancing to the music as they should at an after wedding party so he decided to take matters into his own hands! That’s one gutsy granddad I tell you.

I thought it was over but in a week up comes, the ceremony where the bride goes back to the groom's house. *Can't remember what this ceremony is called!* XD

Note: I had fun taking all these pictures. Yes I like taking pictures and this one on the left is my favourite pic out of the whole lot.

The Berbadak...


Woke up the next day at the sound of the ‘orang tua’ knocking at the door of Shikin’s room cuz it was already time for her mandi. I dun know what it was exactly but I had to go out anyway. When I entered the kitchen that morning simply to greet the parents good morn, lo and behold, there’s Shikin’s mother at the back with a big ass bloody cleaver, mobile phone held between her ear and shoulder, talking a mile a minute.

It was really something of an eye opener as she went on to complain about yesterday’s buffet to the unfortunate person at the other end of the line and chopping up chunks of beef. First thing on my mind was, “Where did she get all that meat?” There was bags and bags load of beef. *Did she get mad at the bland buffet yesterday? Was she so pissed that she went out with that cleaver and killed a cow?*

Effy grinned “Nada lah, order lah.” Oh…cuz I swear, her mom that morning looked cool enough to kill something with her bare hands. Kinda like Resident Evil cool, blood, big chopper and all.

Basically we lolled around the house because things aren’t starting to happen until later that evening. It was only until mid afternoon that Effy and I managed to get our asses into a car and run errands for the household. Buy extension, big plastic covers for the food, tomato sauce, etc, etc, etc. When we got back, we hung around shikin’s room cuz basically most of the hantaran was transferred there and plus, shikin’s still not yet allowed to go out. You can imagine how hard it is to be cooped inside your own house/room for three whole days, it would drive any sane person mad.

During the evening she was getting ready. Make up artist made her lovely as usual with her hair and face all dolled up. *sigh* My *ahem* lovely Shikin is getting married (already married since her nikah was the day before), now left only Effy and I the bachelorettes.

That night they preformed the berbadak ceremony. This is where they sprinkle some fragant stuff on to her hands, kinda like a blessing I think. I didn’t ask what it was all about nor did I take a close look at what it actually was. I was afraid they might want to ask me to preform the simple ritual as well. For all I know, I might trip and spill the whole thing on Shikin. >_<

That night there was more makan, which we again brought to the living room upstairs for the make up artist and the photographer.

I decided to stay another night, cuz the next say is the ‘sanding’. Plus my car was still blocked so can't escape. Haha.

To be continued…

Shikin's Wedding : Part One

The Introduction

This is Shikin.



I first met her when I started studying in Focus Computer School around 6 years ago. In truth I wasn’t all that keen on speaking with her or her sister Effy at the time. This is because at that time I was prolly the only Bruneian girl who DID NOT UNDERSTAND A SINGLE DAMN WORD of the malay language. I was a real dodo of the local tongue. When I moved into the girl’s hostel of the school, that’s when I really started getting to know her better. The more I know about her, the more I like her. In the end the four of us, Shikin, Effy, Patricia and I, became inseperable buddies.


The Night Before

I’ve been visiting the girls (shikin and effy) for a couple of nights before the wedding (ok that sounds kinda wrong) and we would catch up on loads of stuff. Especially with Effy, since she only got back a few days ago. On the night before the nikah, Patricia and some more friends joined us at Shikin’s house (according to their tradition the bride can’t go out of the house before the wedding is completed). What a fun nite that was.

Sidenote: Patricia is 7 mths pregnant now. Woot! Go Pat! Go!



Effy, Pat and I planned stuff for the next day.

The Nikah


Today the girls and I actually wanted to meet up for breakfast then drop by the salon to get our hair fixed. Effy actually was a bit cranky that morning to say the least. She harassed the salon girls. They just have no idea what she wanted them to do with her hair. She wanted some kind of provocative clipped hairdo. After we done our errands (pick up clothes, had some ‘candy’ *ahem* ) and reach home it was around 12 noon. The ceremony would start around 1 something. We rushed around to get things ready.



The make up artist came and did up Shikin’s hair and make up. (sorry I dun have the pictures ready yet, cuz at the time I was using my mother’s old canon camera.) I’m also waiting for the pictures to come from the photographer. Both the make up artist and photographer were friendly people. They turned what otherwise would have been a nervous atmosphere into a relaxed scene.



Effy was the camerawoman of the day, running here and there to get the most potential angles so she can capture the best shots. I was taking a lot of pictures also but dunno what’s wrong with my canon camera *swt* it just keeps jamming and making stupid noises at the most inappropriate times.

Like the silent meaningful moment where the imam preforms the ceremony in Shikin’s room…all were watching, tears at the tip and on hold, beautiful moment…then *click* *weeeeezeeeeeeekkeeeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeezeeeeeeee* I could kill myself and my camera that moment, just toss both out of the window. Everyone was laughing and even the stoic imam smiled. Beautiful moment? Spoiled!

Then wandi came over, also all dressed in white, and everyone sat around in the living room to complete the Nikah ceremony. It was lovely. I didn’t spoile that moment cuz at the time I hate the camera and the film ran out. My N80 also low batt so I couldn’t use that either. Man I could kick myself.

After the ceremony, everyone else had some food and went home (including the groom). Patricia went home but I stayed overnight cuz one, shikin and effy asked me to, two, it’s more fun that way and three, easier that way cuz next day I dun have to run over to their house again. Pat, Shikin & Effy and I live like 5 minutes drive from each other.

(To be continued …)

Happy Birthday Basic Life

It’s been exactly 1 year since I started this blog. Looking back there’s a lot that happened within a year. Since moving back to Kuala Belait I’ve bumped into many of my old friends. Some of them are married and are proud parents to tiny tots.

I use to keep a diary and use to write down every details of my life diligently. I would start each entry with a ‘Dear Diary’ and end it with love. This feature I only started adding after I read ‘Anne Frank’s Diary’ where she would sign off each entry like writing a letter. So my diary became my best pen pal.


My first entry:-

24th December 1990
Dear, Diary, Today my friend Ah Sui is here to play with me and my brother. At 30 12 1990 at Sunday will be my birthday and today night 12 o clock I and my mother also with my brother will get present. Tomorrow will be Christmas day and they will be a lot of cartoon to see from morning till night. And wish me and my parent a merry charismas and a happy new year. –

22nd August 1997
…Really, there are too much complex situations now in this world that honesty should be valued and loyalty treasured. I hate people who are rude, dishonest, crude, selfish and conceited. Naturally we are not all perfect. We are not made nor meant to be, if we were then all of us would be exactly the same. CLONES!...

My last entry was on the 28th October 2004. (Which turned out to be too personal to post here, haha, restricted area, sorry.)

A year after that then only I started to blog. First I created Fish Cakes as my first blog in Friendster but later I found blogspot to be a better place because it’s more flexible and allows me to change my blog accordingly to my taste.

Yet a year later, Basic Life still remains, this is the 50th entry. Thanks go to all my friends and people who bother to read this blog of mine.

Lady Knife the Firefighter

Since working in the BSP area, I’ve been briefed before on the standard safety and precaution regulations set by Brunei Shell Petroleum. They are very particular about this and it’s good because, let’s face it, nobody wants to lose an arm or a leg or a head even while working. Think of the paperwork.

The only time I’ve witness a fire demonstration was when I was in school, and that was like far, far, FAR away from the fire, in a crowded side of the school. One of the teachers would be brave enough to step up and grab the extinguisher. Execute the three ‘P’s, Pull, Point and Press.

Then there was a time when my boss of Dee Jay was smoking in his office and tossed the cig into the waste paper basket without putting it out entirely. We were all wondering where the smell of burning came from before realizing it was from the office. The boss was out at the time. I didn’t see the fire, but then one of the guys came in and put out the fire.

Those are the two scenarios of fire fighting I’ve witnessed.

However, this is different.

First we have a small lecture in the conference room. Interesting stuff, like if I am crawling along in a dark room, I should feel the wall with my palm up and not down. Close all doors when you evacuate the building and how to open the door properly so you don’t become a barbequed kebab by the time you get out.

We had to put on the standard training clothes before moving on to the physical part of the course. I’m glad of this when I saw what we had to do. We had to go through the smoke room. It looks like a normal building from the outside but inside, its pitch black and narrow, with steps, tunnels and various obstacles. It felt like scout endurance course but only in the dark.

I’ve been through something like that before, when I was in a scout leader training camp. We were blind folded and had to walk through the bushes and what not with only a rope to guide us. Along the way, the first person would shout out body count, 1,2,3, and so on. We lost two people from a group of 7 that day. XD

So this time I was a tiny bit worried cuz I was the last one in a line of 7. Worse, I was in a group of giggling ladies from a salon also in the BSP area. You can only imagine what happened in there. There was a lot of giggling, talk and a lot of shushing from my part. (worse, they were all talking in Chinese, giving out instruction in Chinese “Start crawling here!” when they clearly forgot that there are two malay girls in the line as well. Sheesh.) I was hit in the head by someone’s shoe but didn’t mind, cuz at least I didn’t get stuck or left behind. It took us four minutes to get out. Real fire fighters take 45 seconds.

Then all that’s left is the proper handling of the fire extinguishers. Pull, Point and Press. That’s what I did…only the fire didn’t go out like it was suppose to…instead it reignited. *Ack!* Spray, spray, spray some more. Finally it went out.

“This, ladies and gentlemen, is a good example never to turn your back from a fire. You need to make sure to put the fire out once and for all and just back away but always facing the fire.”

*sweat*

There was a lot of rain during the outside fire extinguishing exercise. So in the end I’m all wet and tired but it was lots of fun. So now, when any fire breaks out, my advice, do what I would do, be the first one out of the building. Don’t hero, please.

0.5 Year Anniversary of Ragnarok

Yes ladies and gentlemen, 6 mths has gone by in a blink of a virtual eye. A lot of things has happened since I started out, alone and innocent, into the world of Ragnarok.

First I would like to thank those of my guild members who have so graciously and patiently put up with my wishy washy ways and taught me a lot. They accepted me as part of their family where I met good people and had many memorable times. ^_^


Limited as Ragnarok may be, it’s a lot of fun. Although my sucky dail up inhibits my game play, still it doesn’t prevent me from continuing on playing, no matter how frustrated I become. I keep on playing because I still want to meet my friends online in RO, still want to keep on learning, keep on improving myself.

There is just so much to explore and do. I don’t understand how some people would become arrogant and say things like, “sien la, so boring here.” Or “dunno la, see first lor, got no mood to go.” Then why log into RO at all? Might as well just sit and stone at home.

As for me, I’ve incorporated so much of RO into my daily life that my friends and staff at work knows I go for War of Emperiums every Wednesday and Saturday. Haha. They understand inside jokes like “Dying is OK!” I think I’ve actually achieved balance in my virtual and real world.


Favorite places to visit in Ragnarok? I like Payon, Gonryun and Niflheim.

Ro Music? I like the music of Gonryun and Prontera.

Favourite Item? Ack! I don't know! I like them all!

Easiest Job Change? That has to be the swordie change job test. All you have to do is to make sure you WALK properly.

Nicest Quest? Erm, all the ones I've tried are fun actually. Lol.

Most memorable moments? When I got my Ragnarok guidebook, thanks to Ulat and when I got my AI CD, thanks to Eekie! You two rawk!

OMG Moment of the past 6 mths? Spire is married to Popo??? “Pedophile is OK!” *omg!omg!omg!*

Friendly Fire

Last evening while I was waiting in line at a supermarket counter when I realized the person right in front of me was my cousin from my mother side.

”Cousin? How nice to see you! Why didn’t you say something? I almost didn’t recognize you. How are you? I heard you just had a baby girl!”

*what am I suppose to say again? Oh yeah congratulations, say it, say it.*

“Ah cousin Knife, sorry there, I also didn’t recognize you. I kept wondering if you are cousin Knife or not. Just haven’t seen you for so long. How are you? Is your mom well?”

*what you mean you didn’t recognize me? I saw you looking at me. If I didn’t take the initiative to say hello, we would be absolute strangers!*

“Yes, she’s just fine. You know hashing and stuff. Haha. Is that your son? What a handsome little man he is.”

*He is adorable. I wish I can go over and coo over him. Hi little darling, I’m your auntie Knife.*

“Yes that’s my son, he’s 1yr old already and that’s my husband there, I would introduce you to him but my in laws are waiting for us in the car, so we’re kinda rushing here. Haha…”

*Woah, that’s her husband? Hold the phone! That is one delicious looking muffin! *

“Oh, er, that’s alright, you go on now, better not keep them waiting but promise you’d drop by the shop for a chat sometime, ok?”

”Sure I will. Bye cousin.”

”Bye.”

Now this got me thinking and I confessed a little worried. This cousin of mine is only older than me by 2 years. Now she’s with two kids and a husband. My mom told me that her hospital room (when she gave birth) was like a florist shop. Flowers everywhere.

What I’m seriously worried about is not about my single status but that of my gossipy aunts. They will probably start asking my mom when her eldest daughter is gonna get hitched? After all she’s 26, er, 25 already and tick tock tick tock dear.

I bet many people hear this all the time. Not only are there sibling rivalry but here we have to deal with cousin competitions as well. Instead of the “My daddy can whoop your daddy’s ass” kind of comparisons, this is “My daughter can out marry your daughter.” Or “My son can land a better job than your son.”

Of course, being adults this is never said in one’s face. It’s done with tact and finesse befitting the best strategists.

Senario Example:

“Mrs X long time no see! How’s your family doing? How’s your daughter? I heard she works for this-this company.”

“Yes Mrs Y, she just got the job last week and she did mention some stress but I’m sure youngsters these days have it easier than we do. She’s already planning a trip to Korea (jealousy arrows FIRE!) this august to ‘reward herself’, well, as long as she pays the bills, I’m not complaining. I’m sure your son experience the same stress in his job with that-that company.”

“Oh yes, youngster these days have no backbone, I’m sure, but it’s all about the money. It’s enough to keep the family together and put food on the table I suppose. I mean I don’t know what his boss would do without him really, keep sending him overseas to china, korea, japan, (warning! Warning! Arrows deflected, launched heat seeking Envy Missiles!) you just can’t imagine the stress he’s on. He even doesn’t have the time to see his fiancée sometimes (Lock target! Aim! Fire!), poor girl.”

“Hmm yes, poor girl… ( Target hit! Damage control!) oh well, Mrs Y, I would love to chat all day but I’m late for a church meeting already.”

“Oh yes, yes, I’ll talk to you next time. I have to get home as well, have to cook dinner soon. See ya!”

“See ya!”

This is a typical scenario where Mrs X would go home and start nagging her daughter. *sigh* Yes I know it very well. My mom has 8 siblings and all together I have 20 cousins although my mom compares me with only 10 of them cuz they are around my age. This bugs me immensely because I for one like my cousins a lot and am particularly close to a few. That is why when my own mother nags me about this cousin’s job or that cousin’s marriage, I keep quiet.

I admit I have a little green eyed monster in me but it’s not a big one. Still, it’s annoying. There was a time when she nags I would fret about it but now, not really. It’s because I realized it’s not fair to keep comparing myself with others, especially those who are related to me or even more important, who I respect.

In a sense I can understand my mother only wanted me to improve my own life. Any mother would only want what’s best for her own children, right?

In All Honesty..

Dear Lord,

On this joyous occasion in celebration of St. Valentine, we pray...

...for all those who are cashing in on this event. May they won't go and burn in hell for charging their customers extra $10 bucks for a bunch of roses just because it was flown in from Newburbia or somewhere remote and equally unheard of.

...for St.Valentine so that he may not turn in his grave when couples fight over ridiculous reasons and demands.

...for my brother who has this brilliant idea of asking his sister to get a bouquet of roses flown in from Newburbia. "I'll pay you back later." Brilliant.

...for every single who doesn't have a date, may they remember that there's many kind of love. Such as love for family, friends, books , gaming, chocolates, wine, shopping sprees, etc, etc, etc.

...for those who watch romantic movies. May God help them if they even think for one second that any of it is real. One can hope, but please, try not to believe in a movie catered to strumming heart strings.

...for oprah who pointed at a photograph taken from a magazine depicting a bride smiling to a groom. "This is a photograph, these two are surrounded by a dozen of people, he's got a light shining on him and there's someone telling her to smile more. Then after the shoot, these two people put back on their jeans and will never see each other again."

...for all this, and much more, Dear Lord, we pray. Amen.

Tung Tu Lung Tung Chiang

When my mother starts changes all the curtains and scrubbing the kitchen walls, I know it's close to Chinese New Year. My mother, given her occupation in life, has always been a tad 'sot' (crazy) about cleanliness. Her motto, if she has one, could easily be something like "Cleanliness is next to Godliness." Or something along those lines.

Then there's the shopping. Woah the shopping. It's as if we don't have enough stuff already in the house, she went out buying who knows what for the new year. Other than the 'must have' for the new year such as new clothes, the usual tibits and drinks, ang pows, new money, etc, etc, etc. There's also the 'don't need but get it anyway. Decorations and whatever ki ling ka lang she needs to decorate the house with.

Just yesterday my sisters skipped into my room, clearly walking on air, and said "Sis! Would you like to see what we got for chinese new year?" Actually I don't care much, but to amuse them, hey why not? They are cute when they are excited.

What I am looking foward to is the Dancing Lions from Chung Hua School. Every year I would try to make it in time to watch them preform. The loud drum beats, the crowd of people, the kids sitting in front just so they can touch the lions as they pass by. It's rumoured that if you manage to get a peice of fur from the lion, it can be kept as a good luck charm.


[Yes that guy is wearing make up. Looks like the monkey king, doesn't he?] ----->

I only know of two lion dance troupes. One from Chung Hua Middle school and another one from the chinese community of Seria. I have a friend who belongs to the latter. He has been 'tung tu lung tung chiang' for 7 years now. I hope this year I'll be able to take some pictures to share with everyone.

There's a lot of superstition for the new year. First everything and EVERYTHING, down to the last sock, underwear and fish bowl, must be cleaned. That is to wash or get rid of the bad luck of the previous year. On the stroke of midnight, everyone would put out pow chang or fire crackers to ward away the evil spirits and bad luck. All the doors, and windows even, would be open to welcome the new year and again, good luck. Along with the mosquitoes.

On the first day of CNY, cannot sweep or clean the floor, or else the good luck might be swept away. Eeveryone would wear all their new clothes, wish mom and day fatt choy (wish you get real holy to golden frogs rich, Daddy & Mommy.) Then start receiving relatives and later go out with friends to visit other friends and er, spread the wealth around a bit so to speak. Or maybe to rake it in. Hehehe. I will not lie to you, alcohol will be consumed, nonsense will happen, and good thing I don't usually drive while going pai nein (visiting).

Chinese New Year is mainly celebrated by the chinese but over here we have other races visiting and enjoying the festivities as well. Like Patricia, even though she's a muslim now, she will be opening her house on the 29th and everyone is invited. Hahaha, Pat will kill me if her house overflows. >_<

<------- [Chinese New Year celebrations in San Francisco! How cool is that?]


I myself am a christian but I still continue to celebrate chinese new year. I mean, hello, I may believe in God but I'm still chinese what. I'm sure there's nothing in the Bible that said 'Thou shall not eat nien kao or receive ang pow.'

But that's what Chinese New Year is all about. It's visiting relatives and friends, wishing them a prosperous year, drinking to their health and looking foward to a good year together.

Hehe, I can't bloody wait.