- At The Moment of My Mind -

Taking leaps of faith only to fall in step with Him.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

End of September


1. stock inventory check
2. buy electronic gaming monthly
3. relish the fact that I have $$ in my bank account again
4. use the $$ and get me broadband. [Finally!]
5. get ready the master stock list, VIP list, write off form, shop supplement FOC, RQ and PO for the accountants.
6. gear up to put a brave front when ‘da boss’ when she drops by.

I have been working here for the last 9 months and she never dropped by. Why she has decided to do so now is beyond me. I dunno but whenever I heard her name and the word ‘visit’ in the same sentence, I get the chills. The world will freeze over, I get flashes of the last visit and my mind will go ‘hang’ for a minute.

She’s a pretty nice person really which is why all the more deadly. She’s this nice lady who talks to you, asks how are you and do you need her advice in anything or do you have any questions for her but while this is going on, in your own mind, “She has the power to fire my tiny little pathetic ass if I so as much as step [accidentally] on her Prada shoes.”

I just admire women of power like that. Scary, but admirable.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Last Sunday my friends were baking a Lemon Cream Cake. I happen to pop by hoping for sample before I get back to work again. Unfortunately my timing wasn’t all that great. They only just started mixing the ingredients and by the time the cake was done in the oven, I was already on my way to work.

My friends decided to leave me some to taste when I visit them after my shift. It tasted good enough, a bit too dry on the side for my taste but one of my friends liked it that way which is why she left it in the oven a little longer than usual. I thought it was a cheese cake because they mixed cream cheese into it but the recipe was called Lemon Cream Cake. The lemon smell of the cake was good. Nice touch to an afternoon tea break.

It scored a few more marks for being an easy recipe without fuss, just mix everything in one bowl and pop it into the oven. Perfect for those who wish to entertain but no time to make impressive cakes yet don’t want to serve guests with store bought semi-fresh ones. Whip up some fresh cream, strawberries and kiwi on top plus in the middle of the cake and you’re set.

Overall verdict: 6.5/10

Lemon Cream Cake
125g butter
125g cream cheese
3 teaspoon lemon rind
1 cup (220g) castor sugar
2 eggs
¾ cup (110g) self-raising flour
½ cup (75g) plain flour

Grease pan. Combine all ingredients in medium bowl of electric mixer, beat on low speed until all ingredients are combines. Then beat on medium speed until mixture is smooth and changed in colour. Spoon and spread mixture into prepared pan. Bake in moderately slow oven about 55 minutes. Stand few minutes before turning onto wire rack to cool. Dust cold cake with sifted icing sugar if desired.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Pathetic Actually

I made the mistake of watching ‘Love Actually’ just now. Being an easily influenced person such as I (especially when having drunk a bit of red wine), of course, I grew weepy, sappy and all around depressive.

Those who have watched the movie knows what I’m talking about, those who haven’t probably can figure the content out from the title itself.

People can and do say a lot of things in their own defense.

“I’m happy being by myself.”
“Really, what’s the big deal? I got my friends and family.”
“I am just not looking at the moment.”
“Who needs the fuss of courting and romancing and loving? I don’t.”

Pfff, please. People need other people or otherwise everyone can be naked hermits living off nature in the mountains, like bears. Just meet and fuck every spring (or mating season) and run off. Leave the female to give birth alone, to teach how to hunt and survive. Then come next spring, back to square. At least monkeys are smarter. They live in groups and socialize. Maybe the apes will rule the earth one day.

“Tick grooming anyone?”

I am young, I am single and dammit, I hate being so. I would like to have someone at the other end of the phone saying, “Hey, how’s work? The boys and I won the game today. Too bad you had to miss it. Peter and Alice said hi and send their regards. I’ve missed you today. How about dinner later at that new restaurant near that boutique you hated?”

Seriously, is that too hard to ask?

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Dreadful Dreams

Lately I’ve been having trouble sleeping. I don’t know why really. When I relate my problem to me friends, they come up with several reasons.

“You worry too much.”
”You think too much.”
”You are stressed out.”
”You are too tired to sleep.” (That was interesting.)
“You aren’t tired enough, that’s why your body don’t wanna rest.” (Equally interesting, I didn’t know my body could rebel again my mind.)
“You shouldn’t eat close to bedtime.”
”You should drink milk before sleeping.”
”You should blender some cabbage and drink before sleeping.”

People, what ever happened to counting sheep lah?

When I do sleep, I have all these weird dreams. I had dreamt this old time friend who I recently met up with is actually stalking me. Woke up when he caught up with me and grabbed my arm. That was kinda scary.

Another is also my long time friend, who actually come out of nowhere and proposed to me. Shhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Know what I mean? Lol. I haven’t seen the guy in years too.

Latest and funniest dream was the one I had just last nite. I dreamt I was at the house of my pal. Before I know it, he was coming on to me, flirting and grabbed my hand out of the sudden. It was another sheeeeet situation. Then in my dream, I started making out with him! My real mind is going like ‘!!!’ but in my dream there I was, trying to get down and dirty with this guy. Before things got too *ahem* ‘blue filem’, his family and friends busted into his room and shouted, “Hey, Happy Birthday!”

Gawd damn, how funny is that? I grabbed my skirt and covered ‘everything’ but it just looked bad, with my skirt over his ‘big bird’. ROFL. Well, his mom and aunts started shouting at both of us. Friends slinked away looking extremely uncomfortable. I managed to get out of the room, but was followed by a couple of aunts and mutual friends going “How can you do that?” “What did you think you were doing?” “You f*cking slut!”

Thank Gawd, that’s when I actually woke up.


What does this all mean? Why are these dreams about guys? (Erm, not that I want to be with a girl, mind you.) Why are they all bad situations?

Is my sub consciousness trying to tell me “Dammit, woman, go get a guy and get laid! Stupid, dumb, freaking, self-conscious psychotic female.”

Or maybe it’s tell me that guys and I don’t mix. That maybe my next relationship I should go for my own sex. … *slaps her head a couple of times* No, thank you. I still fancy guys. Yes, very much so.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

My Misconception of Driver Ed

My brother passed his driver license test. I should really try to get one. Hey, it’s not my fault that I’m still a non-license driver, my old driving school misplaced my file so they tell me that I have to re-register with a $100. Can we say 'Ka-Ching'? *sheesh*

I already wrote two letter to my previous school requesting a transfer. One letter goes to the land transport to let them know that I’m transferring because I am now posted in a different branch of the company I work for. How hard is it for them to read, understand and process the transfer? I’m sure they have loads of other, piles and piles of letters requesting transfers, everyday to go through. Yeah, that’s it.

Everyone says it’s a simple thing, getting a driver license. Of course, who would ever mention parents twisted enough to let one not go get a license until one is finished with high school? Or the idea that one has to move to the city to study for one’s diploma in computer business. Or the possibility that one might even find a job in the city and goes to work on buses.

I know people are just scared that I know the inner workings of the public transportation system. Just like people living in Tokyo.

Well, the principal has to meet up with my dad (they are friends) to settle this problem of my misplaced file in the school. *sigh* Please, please, please let me take the test soon. I don’t think I can stand another minute with my brother. He gloats and makes my ears bleed. Over and over again I had to repeat this mantra, “I cannot kill my brother because mom will kick me out of the house.”